Sleeping on an esteira is becoming comfortable, and for the first time I woke up smiling, knowing exactly where I was. The perfume of the fruits and flowers, the voices of the filhos de santo, their laughs. I didn’t want to open my eyes. I felt the vibration of their Orixás that follow them through the ground I was lying on, and for the first time I understood why sleeping on the floor and walking barefoot were so important.

“Ksenia, time to get up and start your day.”

“Good morning, Baba Carlos. Of course, yes, I am ready.”

“Now wash yourself and come to have breakfast with me.”

When I arrived at the temple, Baba Carlos was sitting on the floor. In front of him was a table filled with fruits, rice and tea.

“Will you sit on the floor with me, Baba?”

“Yes, I’ll eat with you, Ksenia. I want to explain what is going to happen today.”

“I trust you, Baba. Don’t explain anything to me. I will do what I must. I want to see.”

After we ate, I followed Baba Carlos to the back of the temple, where small rooms were built one next to another. I entered. There was no window, an esteira on the floor, a clay jug of water and a clay cup. The room was lit by candles on the floor.

“You will stay here for the next days, Ksenia. Now we start feeding your Ori, your head. This will make you conscious of what you see and will see from now on. You cannot overlook anything. You must look to see, hear to listen with attention, and you must be focused in order to understand even what is not shown or said. You must hear what you don’t hear and see what you don’t see. You must let your Ori, your head, guide you. You must let your Ori take control. You must trust your Ori.”

“Is the Ori, the Head, in reality the spirit, our spirit, us?”

“You are starting to learn… Now sit down on the esteira…”

Baba Carlos and Yalorixá Larissa started to sing in a language I didn’t recognise. I didn’t have the strength to keep my eyes open. I felt water, herbs and candles near my body, their singing, the perfumes, the vibrations. I started to see…

“Now, ladies, follow. All the filhos de santo are ready to receive you, Maria. They are all waiting to see you and to give you their axé.”

“Are they, Father?”

“Yes, we counted the days until this day, when you would finally come back to visit us in Sacred Grounds.”

Maria and Baba Carlos walked holding hands in a loud silence. Their Ori were talking. There was no need to add voices…

When they arrived at Exu’s house, they stopped. Maria entered to salute her protector. She lay on the floor with her head at his feet and then did something unusual. She hugged Exu and kissed him. Lúcia smiled. Baba Carlos understood.

When Maria came out, it was time for Lúcia and Amada to enter, and they did the same, lay on the floor and then kissed Exu.

Zita entered Exu’s house laughing and singing. She took the bottle of cachaça from his altar and poured Exu a generous dose, then one for herself. She hugged and kissed him, then started dancing and singing loudly. She turned around, looked at the other two witches and called them in.

“Come, my ladies, we must celebrate!”

The two witches poured themselves drinks, hugged and kissed Exu, just as Zita had. All three continued singing, dancing and laughing loudly…

Baba Carlos, Maria, Lúcia and Amada continued their walk to the temple, leaving the witches dancing for Exu.

“Maria, it’s celebration day for all of us. Today is the day that darkness celebrates with the light. Light wouldn’t exist without darkness, and darkness wouldn’t exist without light. Today is the day we begin to understand that both are needed…”

Maria looked at her father, and holding hands, they arrived at the temple. All the filhos de santo were dancing, singing, celebrating, offering food and drinks. Maria was hugged and kissed by all of them.

“Now go to the waterfall, Maria. There are three ladies that are waiting for you.”

“Yes, Father.”

Maria started to run as fast as she could. She knew who was waiting for her.

“Iyá Larissa!!!”

Maria jumped and hugged Iyá Larissa, who, crying, hugged and kissed her, falling to her knees.

“Minha filha, I missed you so much, and your vibration, your power, grew so much, and you are so beautiful. Come, let me see you properly.”

Maria turned around so Iyá Larissa could see her entirely, and then she saw.

“Alma!!!”

They hugged each other and cried more and hugged again.

“You are home, Maria. We missed you. Welcome back, Maria.”

From the waterfall, a female voice began to sing. Maria knew that her Mother Oxum was calling her to her arms. She took her clothes off and entered the sacred waters, immersing herself and swimming to where the waters of the waterfall meet the stone. And with her arms open, she let the water take away all the saudade and pain she felt all those years away from her birth home.

“I am visiting, Mother. I don’t belong here. I’m just visiting.”