I understood immediately what those white clothes were. They were roupas de ração.

I came closer to them and put my hand on them.

I felt the energy.

It wasn’t the same energy as the roupas de ração of Candomblé. This energy felt stronger, felt older, it felt ancient. For a second, it was as if I could feel the energy of the world.

I looked at Lúcia.

I felt tears burning in my eyes. For the first time since Mother took me away from the sacred grounds, I felt tears coming down my face, as if liberating the pain that had been hidden inside me all these years.

Almost seven years.

The seventh year was close.

This was the beginning of the shift.

“Maria, take the clothes. Amada will take you to your room, and you can take a long bath to reconnect with yourself.”

I didn’t speak. It wasn’t necessary. She knew I was thankful.

Amada and I walked upstairs to what was my room. When I entered, I saw the bath filled with water, herbs and flowers. I recognised all the herbs and flowers by their perfume.

The tears didn’t listen to me. They kept coming down.

Zita, next to me, was quiet this time, walking behind me. She didn’t need to protect my steps. She could stay behind and just exist there with me.

I took off the normal-world clothes and entered the bathtub.

I felt the necessity to go underwater.

As soon as I submerged, I saw where the water had come from. I saw water being collected from a waterfall and brought here. Then I saw sea water being collected and brought here too.

This water was a mix of waterfall water and sea water.

I felt its power together with the herbs.

I don’t know how long I stayed submerged.

I felt home.

I would have wanted to live submerged in that water that had everything I was built from.

When I reemerged, the wind met me.

I breathed deeply.

“Maria, look at your hair.”

I grabbed my hair and cried even more.

My hair had turned white again.

I was me.

I’m back.

I am me.

I am me.

I breathed in as if I hadn’t breathed for almost seven years.

I let all the pain, the sadness, the lies, the survival mode I had put on go away, leaving space for the real Maria who was hidden inside, waiting to explode free.

I came out of the bath and put the roupas de ração on.

I saw fire, explosions, energy coming from the centre of the world.

The world started to move fast, showing me spirits and gods and angels and deities.

And there I saw my Zita as a human.

I saw where she was born, how she lived her life, her story, her world, the woman she was, the witch who had been burned, and then her spirit waking up in the afterworld, welcomed by a power that I couldn’t understand, only embrace and respect.

I heard the word master.

Zita was hugged. Her spirit was healed and fed and loved.

I saw her becoming the Zita I knew.

The world spun around me once again, and I saw Mother, Father and my brothers on a stormy day.

My mother was in pain, holding her belly.

That was where I was.

I felt my energy coming out of her, and I saw my birth.

I saw the storm calming down.

I saw Exu welcoming Zita into the sacred grounds.

I saw Zita putting her hand on me, taking possession of me.

Now I was hers until the time would come.

I heard the voice of the master.

“You’ll take care of her, and you’ll do everything so the prophecy comes true.”

I heard Zita saying the words that would unite us forever.

I saw Exu giving permission for the two spiritual worlds to unite through me, and I saw Father seeing everything and accepting it.

I saw Mother’s hate.

She didn’t see what was happening, but I could feel the energy of her thoughts, and I felt ashamed of her dry heart.

I cried more, missing my father.

“You will see him soon, Maria,” Zita said gently while embracing me.

I felt her love.

“Zita, you suffered so much.”

“I would have accepted to go through worse if I had known that my mission in spirit was to take care of you.”

I hugged her.

I held her and I cried.

I let all the pain out.

I fell asleep in Zita’s arms.

Night arrived, and I was awakened by the same power that gave birth to me.